The Story of Woe

It was a dark and stormy night...ok...I lie...it was a gorgeous, sunny Friday afternoon and young Ashley was happily galivanting out of her last class (college writing, shut up Kat) and was planning on a nice relaxing weekend...then disaster struck. Young Ashley realized that she had a 20 page paper of doom due at 8:30 Monday morning. All of Young Ashley's plans for happiness were destroyed in those 30 seconds of realization for she had not yet even truly begun work on the paper (not to be confused with the Bench of Realization). So young Ashley began researching her paper Friday night and began hard core writing at 2:45pm on Saturday. She finally finished the paper at 11:10pm on Sunday. She sighed a huge breath of relief as the 22 pages of hell came out of the printer and went to the front desk for a stapler (becuase her own stapler wasn't strong enough to cut through the 22 page monster). As the nice DR commented on the insanity of SIS classes and proclaimed his love for the SOC, young Ashley sleepily trudged back up to her dorm in the Virgin Vault, called Best Friend and proclaimed her victory over the demon then took a shower so she would be presentable for her presentation at 8:30 on Monday morning.

Unable to sleep, young Ashley tosses and turns all night and when her alarm wakes her at 7:35 she flips her cell phone open, turns it off and goes right back to sleep until the alarm of her roommate, Meghan, awakes her at 8:35.

Young Ashley is panicked, for her class began 5 minutes ago, quickly brushes her teeth and hair, gets dressed and sprints to the SIS building (all the way across campus). She tears into the classroom at 8:50 and has no hope of slipping in undetected as Evil Professor Collins is standing right by the door. Slinking into a chair in the front of the class, young Ashley attempts to organize her thoughts while the presentation group from last Thursday's class finish up. The minutes slowly creep by while the presentation group rants about the European Union. "Why won't they hurry up and finish already!?" wonders young Ashley, "some of us still have presentations to do." Evil Professor Collins has no intention of stopping them and somehow they end up discussing immigrantion and the European Union for the entirity of the class. Evil Professor Collins says, nonchalantly, "Well...I guess War Crimes Tribunals will have to go on Thursday, eh? You can turn in your papers then." Young Ashley screams "NOOOOOOO" falls out of her chair, and lies on the floor, twitching.

*Disclaimer: What you read here, is fact. This did happen to me and while I...embellished...some parts (my professor is not, in fact, evil. She's actually quite brilliant) most of it is entirely true. To express my utter woe and despair, see end of entry. Thank you and have a nice day. *

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