The Best Friend ranted at me today. Yes. She ranted. I was proud, teared up a bit even. At any rate, I'm supposed to update this thing STAT.
As many of you, my faithful readers, may have guessed, my journal is filled primarily with my numerous rants about life. For instance, a few months back, I declared my undying love for all things French. Now that particular entry was filled with even more malice and contempt then usual. I had my reasons.
At any rate...the point of this entry is to say that I am amending my ways. I am taking out a new, non-ranty lease on life. From now on I shall write only about the smiling children, blue skies, sunshine and happy little bunnies. Well..ok, I exaggerate. But I am going to try to be less...how do I want to say this...threatening and frightening? Maybe then I can get off the CIA/FBI Watch List!
For instance. Let's say the Chiron returned to the Old Ashley (henceforth known as OA) and she decided to write about the weather. OA would have described today as "absurdly warm" and "appalling to anyone who knows what real winters are like." The New Ashley (NA) will describe today as "beautiful, gloriously warm, and absolutely cherry, as though the sun smiles down from the sky wearing a pair of Oakleys" (that was just for you Adam...I know how you miss your C-Wires)...
...So good bye all! More happiness, pink froth and blue skies to come!!!
Yeah. Right. Sure. If a single one of you even thought for a MINUTE that I meant that clearly you don't know me at all. Ranting is part of who I am! You cannot have me without at least one random rant a week! Seriously, if you're reading this and you believed it you should be ashamed of yourself. Come to my dorm so I can hold up my hand for you to bash your face into. I'm quite ashamed of you. But don't fret, just know that there will be more rants with which to indulge your masochistic tendencies in the near future, as soon as Chiron smashes me over the head with what I like to call the "Mallot of Inspiration."
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The Native fell asleep during the massive orgy. She was sexually assaulted by many people. Male and female. She enjoyed it. Was it rape?
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