It's the end of the world as we know it...and I feel fine...

...the day that no one thought would EVER happen has finally dawned on us...I am giving away all of my old books...
...yep, I'm talking Saddle Club, Thoroughbred, Goosebumps, Animorphs (the two or three that I owned). EVERYTHING. It makes me a little teary eyed to think of it, but they've brought me by being in my life long enough...now they can bring me joy by clearing out space in my closet..mwahaha...

What precipitated this...drastic change? I'd like to say it was some sort of brilliant, existentialist moment where I realized my childhood fiction novels were holding me back on an intellectual level, but we all know I'm a far more shallow person then that and my reasoning behind this sudden decision is every bit as shallow...

...after much negotiation, my dad agreed to teach me how to drive a stick if I cleaned out my closet...you have no idea how revolutionary this is...the fact that I don't know how to drive a stick is like a tranquilizer for my dad...he knew that as long as I didn't actually have the knowledge necessary to drive the Viper, it (and the rest of the world) was safe. Now, however, his safety net is gone and he must live every night in FEAR. MWAHAHA. I feel like I shouldn't be this happy over this...but I am..oh how I am...

...on another note...today, the Curry kids tied me to a lawn chair and locked me outside the house...god I missed them so much...it's good to be home...

A Green Day mix is playing in my ears...

...so, if you've spoken with me anytime since Monday, chances are that you learned of my little condition...

...if not...well...somehow, I managed to get bitten by a spider or some other sort of insect...the bite got infected and...dum dum dum...Ash got cellulitis! It was kind of disturbing...waking up Monday morning and looking in the mirror to brush my teeth to find my half my face and neck swollen to twice their normal size. Yeah, basically, I thought I was going to die. Poor Nick had to bear almost the entirity of my frightened wrath that morning (very sorry about that..even though he doesn't read this blog). Went to see Dr. Heiland who tactfully informed me that I was a ridiculous drama queen who was not going to die before quickly scribbling out a perscription for antibiodics and Vicodin (for the pain...god it hurt a lot)...with the help of the Vicodin the pain subsides enough for me to speak with as much clarity and coherency as I can normally muster (not much, mind you), but my dad was LOVING it when the meds were drifting out of my system, because then in addition to the loss of the foggy state of mind that the Vicodin gave me, I also lost all ability to talk...and as he likes to say (to everyone he meets) "Ash was a great kid until she learned how to talk...she hasn't shut up since then" so he's been basking in my silence...taking this opportunity to say pretty much everything that I'd never let him get away with if I had the ability to convey my...opinions...

...to sum pretty much everything up...
Cellulitis: 587
Ash: -12

Oh...and for anyone who's interested...the humidity is making my hair turn into an afro...maybe I won't get hit on at gas stations anymore...

Friction, Baby- Better Than Ezra (I have an entire CD stuck in my head and I want to cut off my ears, stuff my mouth with garlic and rip off head)...

...mad props if you get this reference...if you don't, well, your loss...

So, after going sailing with Dave today I've come to the conclusion..sailing is pretty damn awesome but I really should have drank at least some water, when I got back home I had mild dehyrdration and had to crash for a few hours...all the while mom was poking me saying "Are you OK? Do you need anything? ASHLEY! Wake up! There's a special on the history channel about King Tutenkhamen and they have evidence proving that he wasn't murdered! COME OUT OF YOUR STUPOR AND WATCH IT WITH ME!" I heart my mum.

Anyways...when I finally woke up, my dad was back inside from working out in the yard all day doing something vague and noble that no one but him really understands the true importance and significance of. It was the first time I'd seen him all day and I was astonished by how ridiculously tired the poor man looks...you know the line from..who...Coleridge? The Elegy Guy? I'm not sure...one of the hundreds of British poets....anyways...he said "The world is too much with me" and that pretty much sums of the appearance of my dad...very haggard, I was incredibly shocked. I think it's always kind of hard when you realize that your parents, just like everyone else, are mortal human beings who make mistakes. Between keeping up a full time job and doing so much work to the house...the man is more or less exhausted all the time...

Anyways, I'm starting to ramble..the point of this is to inform pretty much everyone that my parent's are officially planning to sell the house next spring at the latest. By "sell" obviously I mean put on the market...but if the fact that we've already had offers on it and we've never even had it up for sale before is any indication, chances are it'll go pretty fast. As of yet my parents aren't sure where they're moving...so while there's a chance they'll stay in York, there's also the chance they'll move to Rocky Mount, North Carolina.

Oddly enough, I'm actually really glad for this. I'm sorry but the simple fact of the matter is that WE DO NOT NEED AS MUCH SPACE AS WE HAVE. I'm in DC most of the year, and this is probably going to be my last FULL summer in Pennsylvania, regardless of where my parents end up living (I'll be in France for half of next summer and after that I'll be starting work on 2 theses, and I gotta say...the Library of Congress is a hell of a lot better than Martin Memorial...). The amount of living space per person in this house is simply ridiculous.

So basically...while I will certainly miss some of the memories attached to this house (aka my dad nearly burning it down, sending Ben and Rich out to "fetch" Cody that one time at New Years, swimming in the moonlight, learning how to reverse in and out of the garage, bringing home Cody for the first time and letting him stumble into my mom and dad's bedroom, so he could win over my dad, my druggie neighbors stealing the change out of my car) I've come to realize this year, it's not where you live, it's who you live with. All those memories are more attached to the people than to the place and those I shall carry with me forever.

Good bye, not-so-beloved-at-all Oakwood Estates (though I will certainly miss some of my neighbors), too often have I feared "accidently" driving my car into one of the gates in a fit of rage...no longer shall you taunt me every time I forget my clicker and have to schlepp the half mile back to my house...Now my daddy will get a chance to sleep...

I miss the sea gulls...a lot...

So, I'm home from North Carolina, and rather exhausted. I got in around 11 last night, hugged my dog, said hi to my dad and passed out on the couch, as is my usual summer tendency. NC was an awesome trip, it was good to see Kat and Avon/Outer Banks in general was aaammaazziinngg. However...I learned several life lessons on this vacation, and I'd like to share them with you, children of the internet.

Life Lesson No. 1: When Ash travels anywhere, BAD things happen.

To make a long story short, something bad always happens when I leave the Great State of Pennsylvania for a vacation. This time, it affected my travel plans. A lot. When I tell you this...you're not going to believe it...it just seems so ridiculous...but here goes...
...I took a train to North Carolina because it's cheaper and easier than driving or flying. It's typically a 5-6 hour train ride. Mine took 8 hours. Do you want to know why it took 8 hours? THERE WAS A FOREST FIRE IN ASHLAND VIRGINIA. You're smart people, I don't need to remind you that forest fires a) don't really happen in Virginia and b) only happen in August and September, after extreme droughts. You probably get the irony, but to make it worse...the purpose of this visit was to visit Kat, who just happens to be a PYRO. The irony was just too much for me to bear and the guy sitting next to me though I was insane as I burst out into hysterical laughter. This, my dear friends, is just more proof that I am karma's bitch.

Life Lesson No. 2: The South is not warm all the time, contrary to popular belief.

Everyone has seen it. A southerner shivering and shaking in November, while we Yankees skip around in shorts and tank tops saying, rather arrogantly, "you haven't seen anything yet." Never again will I mock the temperate weather of the South, because guess what people...IT DOESN'T EXIST. The first night in Avon, it was so cold that I shivered half the night away. Kat's dog Rusty barged onto my bed at one point to look out the window. I was so cold that I was ready to grab him and force him to cuddle with me for warmth. Thought I was going to freeze to death. The next morning, Kat (ever the sympathetic one) upon hearing my story of woe, proclaimed "DEAR GOD, THERE WERE BLANKETS AT THE FOOT OF THE BED!!!!" For the record I'd just like to say that even if I'd known there were blankets at the foot of the bed I could not see them for without my contacts/glasses I am BLIND AS A FRIGGIN BAT.

Life Lesson No. 3: It takes all types to make the world go round, you need someone to throw into the fire.

Yeah, southerners are kind of scary. Drunk old fishermen stalk the beach at night and I saw a Toyota 4 Runner elevated on MONSTER TRUCK TIRES OF DEATH ripping around the parking lot of a Toys R Us. It was an unpleasant experience, and I'd sleep much better at night if I knew those people were biologically uncapable of ever reproducing. Le sigh. Despite the fear, most of the people I met seemed very nice and polite, a good change from the GET-OUT-OF-MY-WAY-I'M-MORE-IMPORTANT-THAN-YOU attitude that's associated with the land above the Mason-Dixon Line.

Life Lesson No. 4: This one doesn't really get a title...for most people it would probably be kind of obvious...

To attract as little attention as humanly possible, wear very very baggy tshirts.

Life Lesson No. 5: I do...but I don't...

I think the most horrifying part of the trip was when I actually watched a Lifetime movie. Furthermore, I now understand Kat's obsession with them, and will not be adverse to watching another one at some point in the future. They're just so bad, but you get such odd satisfaction in screaming at the television and throwing things at it, thinking, in your mind, that maybe the objects would somehow go through the television and hit the idiot characters in their heads.

Despite the comedy, it was a fantastic trip. Seeing a baby sea gull at Gullshoal (sp?) and going to Ocracoke was definitely worth some of the other more insane occurances of the trip.

So in conclusion...FRILLY PEACH DRESS

Listening to the only approrpriate song I can think of right now...Home by Breaking Benjamin

Hmm...first post from the land of the Amish, potholes and Starlite Diner...
...yes, I am referring to none other then the infamous land of York, Pennsylvania. I won't lie. It's good to be back, my brain is slowly degenerating to the point where I'm just at functioning level and that would make me happy, but true emotions are forbidden in the land of I-don't-care-about-anything-but-getting-a-job-and-relaxing.
...yes, it's also true that I miss the District but summer's looking good and I'm excited to meet up w/ some of the YCers. However...I'd just like to point out something that I think is incredibly important...
...today I went to the Galleria to buy a new pair of flip flops (damn you Nike! straight to hell with you!! YOU DIED ON ME AFTER ONLY A YEAR OF HARDCORE USAGE! That's completely unacceptable. Your predecessors lasted at least 2 years before the dog destroyed them!) At any rate...I went to the Galleria to buy flip flops and exchange a skirt that had a stain on it. As I was wandering around the Gap (because sadly, it eats my soul) I took note of the manequins (sp?). Have you figured out what I realized yet? C'mon, you're a smarter bunch than that...
...ok, drum roll please...

...NONE OF THE COLLARS OF THE MANEQUINS WERE POPPED!!! Not a single one. Furthermore at this exact moment I also realized that I had not seen a single popped collar since I returned home. I did not entirely know what to do with myself, so I just gawked at one of the fake-polo-shirt wearing manequins for a while before doing a little dance.

Now, you may ask, did the lack of popped collars actually merit the little dance? Well, probably not...but, combined with the realization that I have yet to see an iPod while in York? Yes. That DEFINITELY merited a serious little dance.

MWAHAHA!!!!

So...while York may not be the vortex of culture on the east coast...I think it's safe to say that at times its refreshing to be away from mainstream America...

...and there's the added bonus of the absolutely beautiful stars...and the fresh air...and the silence...

Well, the two-day Hellathon is over. 3 written finals within two days of each other? Two of them the hardest tests I had to take this semester? It was not a pretty sight, but it's over. I did my best and I'm fairly certain I did pretty well. I beat Critical into a pulp, then I riverdanced on its grave wearing cleats, that much I'm sure of.

Despite the stress and unnecessary drama, the year's been a good one and worthwhile. It obviously hasn't all been rosy (I'm trying to stop looking at past events as though everything was perfect) but I've learned a lot this year, both from people and from profs (yes, there is a distinction between the two) and I'm quite content and happy now. I'm also glad to be going back home. I shall miss the District and all it's inhabitants, but I also miss my Yorkers, the fun times and memories we share. Furthermore, my brain needs to diiiiiiiiiiieeeeeee. I just want to get a meaningless job, relax and have fun this summer. No thought required. Just ability to function as a normal human being.

But before the brain deterioration sets in...let's go ahead and list out things I've learned this year (who knows? Perhaps it will help those who read this who have not yet left for college...maybe not. The experience is different for everyone. Maybe it'll make you chuckle, maybe not, but it's all things I have discovered to be ridiculously true).

Rule No. 1: You're going to get locked out of your room. A lot. At least one of these times you will be forced to schlepp downstairs in a towel after a shower. It's not that big of a deal. It happens to everyone.
2: The first few weeks are going to be hard. You're going to be desperate for friends. The people you hang out with the first weekend will probably not be the people you hug good bye at the end of the year.
3: You're probably going to make at least one or two friendships that are not meant to last. Once again, you're starved for friends and in a completely alien environment. It's natural and normal, accept fate and move on with your life.
4: No matter what you do, no matter how good your communcation with your roommate is, he/she is going to come home at a very odd hour indeed and catch you at a very inopportune moment. Thus goes life.
5: No matter how good about getting your work done in advance in high school, no matter how much you SWEAR YOU'RE GOING TO CHANGE, you will end up writing a 20 page paper due entirely the weekend before it's due.
6: Aforementioned weekend will become known as "The Weekend of DEATH"
7: People, when they get pissed at you, actually will de-facebook you, take you off their LJ friends list, remove you from their AIM list and the like. It may seem ridiculous and childish, but that's life. It happens.
8: Fire alarms suck. But they build character. Nothing tests a person's resistance to the temptation of murdering everyone with in a 2 block vicinity like being awoken at 4am by a screeching fire alarm. (Yes, I say this as a north sider who has had a grand total of 3 alarms).
9: Profs actually aren't evil (most of them). They assign so much homework because they honestly believe that their area of expertise matters as much to you as it does to them. (I think this is a bit of a lie...but I need to keep believing in it so that I can sleep at night...there's just no other explanation).
10: There will be something you get so excited about studying that you just have to email your prof at 4 in the morning to bounce ideas off of him/her. The prof will love this and praise you for your enthusiasm, not mock your insanity.
11: Beware viruses. They will haunt your soul and destroy your memory (literally).
12: You're going to change. A lot. Some of the changes will be for the better, some for the worst. All of these changes are fundamental to your evolution as a human being.
13: When you have your first nervous breakdown (and you will have one) don't second guess yourself. Think about what you need to do to make yourself better (whether that be calling a friend or curling up in your bed crying) and do it. No second thoughts.
14: If you're going to school where it snows, steal trays from your cafeteria and go sledding.
15: Something that you hold very near and dear to your heart, some sort of ideology, is going to change. Drastically or not, remember: change is good and necessary, it's the fear of change and refusal to change that's bad.
16: You will talk about random things with your friends at 3am. You will theorize on how to destroy or save the world.

Well, there are my trinkets of wisdom (or lack thereof). Good bye my dear District, good bye dearest friends, I will see you in August. At which point I hopefully will regain some sanity.