...so, if you've spoken with me anytime since Monday, chances are that you learned of my little condition...
...if not...well...somehow, I managed to get bitten by a spider or some other sort of insect...the bite got infected and...dum dum dum...Ash got cellulitis! It was kind of disturbing...waking up Monday morning and looking in the mirror to brush my teeth to find my half my face and neck swollen to twice their normal size. Yeah, basically, I thought I was going to die. Poor Nick had to bear almost the entirity of my frightened wrath that morning (very sorry about that..even though he doesn't read this blog). Went to see Dr. Heiland who tactfully informed me that I was a ridiculous drama queen who was not going to die before quickly scribbling out a perscription for antibiodics and Vicodin (for the pain...god it hurt a lot)...with the help of the Vicodin the pain subsides enough for me to speak with as much clarity and coherency as I can normally muster (not much, mind you), but my dad was LOVING it when the meds were drifting out of my system, because then in addition to the loss of the foggy state of mind that the Vicodin gave me, I also lost all ability to talk...and as he likes to say (to everyone he meets) "Ash was a great kid until she learned how to talk...she hasn't shut up since then" so he's been basking in my silence...taking this opportunity to say pretty much everything that I'd never let him get away with if I had the ability to convey my...opinions...
...to sum pretty much everything up...
Cellulitis: 587
Ash: -12
Oh...and for anyone who's interested...the humidity is making my hair turn into an afro...maybe I won't get hit on at gas stations anymore...
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1 comment:
::cuts off the swollen part of ash's face and neck, nods::
there we go. a bit bloody, but much better. as long as you don't bleed to death that is. and as long as you don't mind going without parts of your face and neck.
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