Sleep deprivation, muscle relaxers, objects of destruction, the realm of academia and cute, furry creatures

So...this past weekend I got approximately 6 hours of sleep between Friday and Saturday nights. Yes. You heard me. 6 hours. I was MISERABLE.

But more to the point...future roomie told me an issue that she has been having w/ me of late (the fact that I a) double book and b) back out a lot on plans that are supposed to be definite). She's right, I have been doing that a lot and it needs to stop. It's rude and inconsiderate of me and I'm trying to change. If I'm not sure that I can come, I'll say as such rather then say that I can without a shadow of a doubt...BUT ANYWAYS, I digress. The point behind this is that, quite simply, Kat and I will be OK as roommates next year, namely because we can both confront each other easily when we have issues with the other. So yay.

So, Sunday night comes around and I decide to stay in, take a muscle relaxer and go to sleep early. This all changed though, when Chiron began happily bashing at EVERY APPENDAGE ON MY BODY WITH THE MALLET OF INSPIRATION. For the first time in a while I was overcome with this desperate need to write. And write I did. Twas absolutely beautiful and as I finished my last sentence there was some hardcore happy dancing going on. If you're interested in reading this, let me know and depending on who you are, I'll let you read it.

So around 1:30am, I finally put down my pen and crashed into bed (literally, I turned out the light, misjudged the area of my bed and smashed my head against the wall. Smart, I know). On Mondays I don't have class until 11:20, and as I go to my first class every day in my pajamas, no matter what time of day it is, I usually don't get up until 11. So, I'm happily skipping through the lavender and gold world of dreams when "Ragdoll, livin' in a movie!" blasts through the otherwise silent air (my ring tone) at around 9am. I stumble out of bed and crawl to the phone on my bureau and blearily glare at the name of the person calling me. "MOM" I believe the first words out of my mouth were "WHO DIED?!?!" In all honesty, I thought my dad died or something. My mom and I have an agreement. SHE NEVER CALLS ME BEFORE 12pm. Ever. Basically for whatever reason she thought I'd be awake, apologized profusely and let me go back to bed. *roaring* However, I went to call her back later today to ask if Dad wanted anything specific for his birthday. And I can't get ahold of her. So now I really am fearing that someone has died. Angst.

So other then the unpleasant awakening of this morning, I'm quite good. Course registration soon. *Dance dance* for for classes w/ Drs. Bennett and Kane. I might even talk myself into take an SIS class again (after the 21 page paper of doom last semester (see November entry) I swore I'd never take another one of those again. But Human Rights, China Japan and the US as well as the Contemporary Middle East all look good. Who knows?

I'd also like you all to take note of the fact that I update much more often now. I know my faithful followers...*ahem*...readers take great joy in that.

Second note: I will start posting more pictures in here, as soon as I stop being such a lazy arse.

Third note: For my health and sanity and for your health and general ability to live, please do not mention dreary days and statistics in the same sentence. Due to trial-and-error testing earlier today, it was discovered that this induces homicidal/suicidal urges in short people w/ wavy blonde hair whose name is Ashley.

Fourth note: Vodka is not my nemesis. Rum is currently my nemesis, the vodka may very well displace that. I'm still wondering how the smirnoff ice got into my fridge...

Fifth note: I WANT A CUTE FURRY CREATURE TO CALL MY OWN!

"Idiots like you shouldn't be allowed to have guns!" Me to Prof. Morabito.

Yes...you see correctly...that is a panda...and not only is he posing quite nicely for the camera, he's wearing Elizabethan attire! 

So...that is one of the utterly amazing pandas that temporarily took over my school in the fall. Many a chuckle those dear, sweet creatures caused. If only we'd had more bamboo, maybe they all wouldn't have died...le sigh. Next, I fear Mickey Mouse will be making his entrance to AU...but today is not that day..on that day we FIGHT!

ANYWAYS! On to the topic...walking home from Chipotle today (oh ever so much Mexican goodness) Jessie, Adam and I decided to have a rendevous of some sorts over the summer and after much deliberation we were summoned to Rhode Island. If the days work out (and they will...I shall make it as such) I can just fly from LA straight to Providence and then get a flight back to Baltimore out of Providence when our visit is complete. But here's a little math equation I'd like to put together for y'all...now I know my math skills aren't exactly great (shut up Kat...I CAN ADD 2 AND 2!! It equals 5! (Mad props if you get that reference)).

Flight to Los Angeles: $122.
Flight to Providence from Los Angeles: $139.
Flight from Providence to Baltimore: $127.

Setting off every security detector and generally causing much so much pain to the TSA that they all want to kill themselves: utterly priceless.

So let's recap a bit...picture it...LAX, August 2004. After a visit with my best friend, I'm about to head home. Remember, I was suffering from MSG poisoning at this point (damn you chinese food) and it was ridiculously hot. Due to piss poor traffic, I was already running behind schedule. I'm forced to stand in line to get my e-ticket and then check my bags...the man looks up from his computer screen, stares at me suspiciously and points towards a door saying "you need to go to that room over there.." Frustrated from toting a heavy suitcase as well as a carry one and a purse, I grumble angrily and stalk towards the room, only to find it ridiculously filled with every minority group you could possibly image. All of them looking agitated though resigned as though this was part of their every day tranvel experience. Y'all know what I look like. I'm about as far from a minority as you can get. I stick out like a sore thumb. So while I'm waiting, I pick up conversation with some guy who's heading to Germany. He basically said that it occured to him every time he travelled and there was absolutely no reason why I should be forced to wait. I must have been their random selection for the day. Joy and happiness for me. OK, I can deal. I didn't miss my flight (though it was a close call) and I figured "eh..whatever..it was a one time occurance." Then, while dozing on the flight...I suddenly remember flying to Puerto Rico where they did everything but strip search me while leaving my parents unscathed. I'm pretty sure the only reason they didn't strip search me was the nasty, evil looks my mom and dad kept giving them...

So just for all you slow students...every time I've flown anywhere since 9/11 I've done absolutely nothing out of the ordinary and yet still gotten smacked by the TSA, while my mother happily trotted onto the plane with mace, lighters and a nail file (all contraband now). So what I want to do now is draw on all of your memories (at least the York Catholicers).

Remember the speeches that we had to do? The ones that I always picked the most obscure topics on and did a lot of research for? Yeah...well..my topics inclued Communism/Socialism, genocide/war crimes and the different methods of torture used throughout hisotry. Well, a lot of that research was done at universities and public libraries. And you know that wonderful little provision in the PATRIOT Act? The one that allows the government to screen library books you've rented? Well...there ya go...problem solved. I get harassed at airports because I was flagged for books I took out of the library for research purposes(damn you Manifesto of Karl Marx! I KNEW you were going to cause me pain!).

So...let's add it all up... I've already been black flagged...combined with 3 one way flights (two of which are cross continental) not to mention the fact that since last August I've called/emailed Rick Santorum and Arlen Spector (Republican Senators from Pennsylvania) a LOT and ranted a LOT. Oh..and you know those lovely telephone conversation archives the CIA keeps that are triggered by key words. You know- terrorist..plastique..I Loathe Bush..yeah..my voice rings on those a lot). My viewpoints and beliefs are well documented. I'm going to be LIVING at those airports.

And you know what...at one point this would have bothered me..I would have said that what they're doing is ridiculous to the extreme, unjust, unfair and even an infringement on my rights to freedom of speech. No longer. I now laugh. Welcome to the Real World, Miss MacVeigh. Please strip down so we can search you for explosives. If a long ass wait at the airport as well as mild humiliation is the price to pay for stating my viewpoints and beliefs (loudly..I might add) then by all means...let's go.

See title of Blog.

As all of you know, the other week I was home in Pennsylvania on Spring Break and (as so often is the case) I was talking on the phone (I need to get it surgically removed from my ear) with TSB. It was nearly the end of break and she questioned "excited to go back?" To which I replied "Yeah, I miss my friends, my bed, hell, I even miss some of my classes." TSB, ever the intuitive one, queried "What about your city? Don't you miss DC?" Without thought I said "Yeah, of course. That goes without saying."

About a week later I walking through the Quad, back to my dorm, when I glanced up and saw the spires of the National Cathedral in the distance. Despite the fact that the Cathedral is not original at all, and was modeled entirely after Notre Dame, it is still a spectacular sight. In the past when I saw the Cathedral I'd sigh, stare for a moment and smile. That day I felt absolutely nothing. I wanted to shrug, say "whatever" and continue on my not-so-merry way. This combined with my nonchalant answer about my longing for the city had me utterly frightened. I was afraid that DC had somehow lost its majesty and appeal. I can't live in a place that doesn't inspire me. I can exist there, but true life escapes me in such places. This is how York makes me feel. The only time I feel happy and alive in York is at night, for the stars shine brighter there than anywhere else in my opinion and they make Chiron sing with joy or when I'm at the barn and contentness seeps into my bones. But I digress...I was afraid and questioning my already questionable sanity. So when a week later Adam suggested we wander the Federal Triangle area, I jumped at the chance. Where better to gauge my true emotions then the heart and soul of the District?

Today dawned beautiful and sunny. Kat, Adam and I decided to get off the metro at Metro Centre and walk to Federal Triangle. As the sun set and the lights of the city began to burn, my soul sang. It was just so beautiful. The buildings in this area of the District are pristine, the lights soft and non-flourescent and it's just an amazing sight. A city, but not a city. We stumbled across a little duck pond by the Warner Theatre and as I watched one of the mallords land in the water I wanted to dance.

Then I realized what my problem has been. First off, the weather of late has not been wonderful. Cold and snowy, it's not productive to the imagination to stay inside or on campus, but it's simply too miserable outside to do anything else. When I went to the city, it was never to the heart, to the place where I feel the most connection and the most content, but to random places scattered about for specific purposes. To Dupont for the picture shop or Kramer's, to Pentagon City to the mall or to Rosslyn to gape at the massive metrosculator (just kidding). Even when I went to Federal Triangle or the Smithsonian it was for the National Art Gallery or the Botannical Gardens or some such activity. To just meander about, with no purpose, destination or care, is the only way to truly enjoy this city.

Another realization I had was an interesting one. When I went to the city these past few months, it was never really for me or for the District itself, it was for the company. I've met and befriended some of the most amazing, talented people I've ever known here. Getting to know them and having the opportunity to build strong friendships with them has been a great journey that I think will continue for a very long time. A bond I think a lot of us share is getting to know this city and each other at the same time which is a beautiful thing. But one crucial element for happiness (at least mine) is developing a relationship between myself and the city alone without other people there. It's integral to my independence and something that I had definitely been neglecting. But at the end of the day, once again, should I find myself alone, sad as I might be, I will move on and continue with life. That is something I think was missing from my life for a while, something I have had for a very long time, something that I need and something that I will have again.

Today, without even knowing it but just by their presense, Adam and Kat made me realize how lucky I am to have such amazing people in my life (not just them...DCers and Yorkers alike). By standing by that duck pond, sometimes talking, occasionally silent, they helped me realize my disconnection from the city and (more importantly) myself. Though it took others to make me realize it, only I can rebuild the lost ties. And I shall, perhaps with the help of Chiron, those bonds will be stronger than ever.

Gather round, ye children of the internet, and listen to my story.

Once upon a time...

...there was a student. Her name was Ashley and she was fairly dilligent at her work, though she procrastinated along with the best of her peers at American University.

In order to keep her sanity (as much sanity as Ashley has) and health intact, she goes to the gym every night. One night when she had a particularly large amount of work due the next day, Ashley decided to take the next novel she had to read for College Writing Seminar w/ the dreaded but brilliant Professor Cox to the gym with her to read while she worked out on the elliptical. The book was extremely obscure and related to cyclical vs. linear theories on the progression of time. It's title: Einstein's Dreams. At any rate, Ashley soon discovers that she cannot read and keep her balance on the elliptical at the same time, so she soon discards the book to the side and pushes herself harder on the machine. Half an hour later she exited the gym and unknowingly left the book behind. When she realized her grave mistake she decided she would pick up the book when she went to the gym the following night.

Fast forward 24 hours later.

Ashley finishes her workout and goes downstairs to retrieve the book from the front desk. The attendent looks at her, searches briefly for the book and declares that they do not have it. "Someone must have taken it" the glassy eyed student said with a shrug. At Ashley's insistence, he checked again, but still there was no obscure book.

ANGST. Ashley now has to go buy the book again for approximately $15.00 so that she can actually participate in CWS and get in the good graces of Professor Cox.

RAGE.

The moral of the story, kids, is not be careful where you leave your books, however obvious that might seem. The point of this story is: people are insane. Someone stole the most random and obscure book on the planet. If they even opened it and read the first page they would have ran screaming into the night away from the book. But NO. They stole it just because it was there. Whores. If it was even slightly interesting or at least had a pretty cover I could understand the theft, but as neither apply in the case of this book I have decided that people are, quite simply, insane. And not in the good way.

Disclaimer: I actually find theories on cyclical vs. linear progression of time quite interesting. However; we all know I crossed into the realm of the insane (the good kind, hopefully) a long time ago. I dance through the ashes of the fires that we light to pay homage to Prometheus. And Bob, of course. How could we forget Bob?

Mad props to anyone who gets the Bob reference.

And the votes for "Most Likely to be Sexually Accosted in a Parking Lot" are in and the winner is..

...ME!!!!!!! Let the happy dancing begin, I've won a prize! What is that prize, you may ask? A brand new STD ALL OF MY VERY OWN!!! *weeping* Now my syphilis won't have to be alone anymore...I'm so excited!!

Yeah. Right. Sure. It's a long story and I don't feel like posting an insanely long, ranty entry yet again (can you believe it? Me, not in the mood for ranting? The world must be ending, I think Satan just fell on his ass while ice skating). Basically I feared being sexually assaulted in a Wal-Mart parking on Monday night. Afterwards, because I felt better talking on the phone as I walked back to Satan's Den, I called Adam. His brother answered and tried to convince me he was actually Adam. Jarrod is QUITE an amusing chap though I'm fairly convinced he could not have been entirely sober during our small conversation, no matter what Adam claims.

I won't post on the visit to Dickinson until I get back to the District where I can upload pictures. But let's just say it was a great time.

And the primary reason for the post...

TOP 4 REASONS TO BE RIDICULOUSLY HAPPY RIGHT NOW:
1) Visiting Benj @ Gettysburg tonight.
2) Riding lesson w/ Erin before that.
3) Jimmy Eat World and Taking Back Sunday are playing @ my school on April 20 (this is definitely cause for some serious happy dancing)
4) FREEDOM (I quit my job at Wendy's...another long, ranty story that concluded w/ me skipping through the Satan's Den parking lot (post near assault experience) screaming "FREEDOM FREEDOM FREEDOM!!" at the top of my lungs).

On that note, my friends, as you quake in fear of me, I leave you. AUers- until Sunday. Yorkers- until Summer.

Adieu.

Swing a little more on the Devil's dance floor...

...yeah, TSB...that was for you.

...Shea...I have a question for you...do you know exactly what it is to burn? How about the price of glory? Why don't you tell me?

I am currently miserable. I just want to skip ahead to tomorrow night at this time when I'm on my way back to Pennsylvania. I DO NOT WANT TO DO ANY MORE WORK. I just want to go back to my gated community, sit on my deck with my dog and stare at the stars. DCers- think nothing of this. Much love to y'all. I'm just sick of mid-terms and papers and Stats. I'm excited to see Benj, Deb, Jo, Kato, Lis', Sarah and possibly Krzy. I'm ecstatic about returning to Woodberry and I'm oddly enough kind of looking forward to working (I'll feel productive and good again, rather then mooching off my parents).

But on a MUCH happier note...The Exies/Theory of a Deadman/Breaking Benjamin concert was quite, quite good. As per requirement, they didn't play my favourite song but I'll live. My clothes smell like smoke, my suede jacket has a bit of blue ink on it (no worries, it isn't visible) and the markers on my hands will probably be there for another week or so. I now have some good blackmail against Shea *laughing quietly* but I won't divulge that precious information here. After we got back I ran to the Eagle's Nest w/ Shea (the dance scared me Shea, it really did, I had nightmares). Then popped over to South Side to say hey to Adam. I figured I would stay like 5-10 mins then head back to my room, shower and sleep. SO UTTERLY WRONG. Rachel was there, then Cameron came, and we ended up ordering pizza and playing pool till 2.

So all in all...I guess I'm not utterly miserable, just unhappy. And I know the exact source of my unhappiness *stares blatantly at half finished CWS essay* DAMN YOU COX!!! DAMN YOU!!!

Tonight: Guapos, Gym, Library, Paper.
Tomorrow: Gym, Macroecon, Shower/Packing, CWS, CIJ, headin' home. Yeah, I'm seriously considering just not sleeping tonight.