Gather round, ye children of the internet, and listen to my story.

Once upon a time...

...there was a student. Her name was Ashley and she was fairly dilligent at her work, though she procrastinated along with the best of her peers at American University.

In order to keep her sanity (as much sanity as Ashley has) and health intact, she goes to the gym every night. One night when she had a particularly large amount of work due the next day, Ashley decided to take the next novel she had to read for College Writing Seminar w/ the dreaded but brilliant Professor Cox to the gym with her to read while she worked out on the elliptical. The book was extremely obscure and related to cyclical vs. linear theories on the progression of time. It's title: Einstein's Dreams. At any rate, Ashley soon discovers that she cannot read and keep her balance on the elliptical at the same time, so she soon discards the book to the side and pushes herself harder on the machine. Half an hour later she exited the gym and unknowingly left the book behind. When she realized her grave mistake she decided she would pick up the book when she went to the gym the following night.

Fast forward 24 hours later.

Ashley finishes her workout and goes downstairs to retrieve the book from the front desk. The attendent looks at her, searches briefly for the book and declares that they do not have it. "Someone must have taken it" the glassy eyed student said with a shrug. At Ashley's insistence, he checked again, but still there was no obscure book.

ANGST. Ashley now has to go buy the book again for approximately $15.00 so that she can actually participate in CWS and get in the good graces of Professor Cox.

RAGE.

The moral of the story, kids, is not be careful where you leave your books, however obvious that might seem. The point of this story is: people are insane. Someone stole the most random and obscure book on the planet. If they even opened it and read the first page they would have ran screaming into the night away from the book. But NO. They stole it just because it was there. Whores. If it was even slightly interesting or at least had a pretty cover I could understand the theft, but as neither apply in the case of this book I have decided that people are, quite simply, insane. And not in the good way.

Disclaimer: I actually find theories on cyclical vs. linear progression of time quite interesting. However; we all know I crossed into the realm of the insane (the good kind, hopefully) a long time ago. I dance through the ashes of the fires that we light to pay homage to Prometheus. And Bob, of course. How could we forget Bob?

Mad props to anyone who gets the Bob reference.