I miss the sea gulls...a lot...

So, I'm home from North Carolina, and rather exhausted. I got in around 11 last night, hugged my dog, said hi to my dad and passed out on the couch, as is my usual summer tendency. NC was an awesome trip, it was good to see Kat and Avon/Outer Banks in general was aaammaazziinngg. However...I learned several life lessons on this vacation, and I'd like to share them with you, children of the internet.

Life Lesson No. 1: When Ash travels anywhere, BAD things happen.

To make a long story short, something bad always happens when I leave the Great State of Pennsylvania for a vacation. This time, it affected my travel plans. A lot. When I tell you this...you're not going to believe it...it just seems so ridiculous...but here goes...
...I took a train to North Carolina because it's cheaper and easier than driving or flying. It's typically a 5-6 hour train ride. Mine took 8 hours. Do you want to know why it took 8 hours? THERE WAS A FOREST FIRE IN ASHLAND VIRGINIA. You're smart people, I don't need to remind you that forest fires a) don't really happen in Virginia and b) only happen in August and September, after extreme droughts. You probably get the irony, but to make it worse...the purpose of this visit was to visit Kat, who just happens to be a PYRO. The irony was just too much for me to bear and the guy sitting next to me though I was insane as I burst out into hysterical laughter. This, my dear friends, is just more proof that I am karma's bitch.

Life Lesson No. 2: The South is not warm all the time, contrary to popular belief.

Everyone has seen it. A southerner shivering and shaking in November, while we Yankees skip around in shorts and tank tops saying, rather arrogantly, "you haven't seen anything yet." Never again will I mock the temperate weather of the South, because guess what people...IT DOESN'T EXIST. The first night in Avon, it was so cold that I shivered half the night away. Kat's dog Rusty barged onto my bed at one point to look out the window. I was so cold that I was ready to grab him and force him to cuddle with me for warmth. Thought I was going to freeze to death. The next morning, Kat (ever the sympathetic one) upon hearing my story of woe, proclaimed "DEAR GOD, THERE WERE BLANKETS AT THE FOOT OF THE BED!!!!" For the record I'd just like to say that even if I'd known there were blankets at the foot of the bed I could not see them for without my contacts/glasses I am BLIND AS A FRIGGIN BAT.

Life Lesson No. 3: It takes all types to make the world go round, you need someone to throw into the fire.

Yeah, southerners are kind of scary. Drunk old fishermen stalk the beach at night and I saw a Toyota 4 Runner elevated on MONSTER TRUCK TIRES OF DEATH ripping around the parking lot of a Toys R Us. It was an unpleasant experience, and I'd sleep much better at night if I knew those people were biologically uncapable of ever reproducing. Le sigh. Despite the fear, most of the people I met seemed very nice and polite, a good change from the GET-OUT-OF-MY-WAY-I'M-MORE-IMPORTANT-THAN-YOU attitude that's associated with the land above the Mason-Dixon Line.

Life Lesson No. 4: This one doesn't really get a title...for most people it would probably be kind of obvious...

To attract as little attention as humanly possible, wear very very baggy tshirts.

Life Lesson No. 5: I do...but I don't...

I think the most horrifying part of the trip was when I actually watched a Lifetime movie. Furthermore, I now understand Kat's obsession with them, and will not be adverse to watching another one at some point in the future. They're just so bad, but you get such odd satisfaction in screaming at the television and throwing things at it, thinking, in your mind, that maybe the objects would somehow go through the television and hit the idiot characters in their heads.

Despite the comedy, it was a fantastic trip. Seeing a baby sea gull at Gullshoal (sp?) and going to Ocracoke was definitely worth some of the other more insane occurances of the trip.

So in conclusion...FRILLY PEACH DRESS