The Sources of All Angst...

...I am in a ridiculously angsty mood of late...everything makes me want to scream and bash my head against the nearest hard surface...so...the glorious return of the ranting has come...strap yourselves in for a bumpy ride (or promptly exit the blog..the choice is yours, I will not hold a gun to your head and force you to read this...however, I make no such promises if a taser is at hand...)

Angst No. 1: I want to be out of the country.

Kat (roommate next year for those of you who don't pay attention to my life and don't know that) is in Germany right now and despite the hardships she's having (note to self: NEVER FLY US AIRWAYS EVER AGAIN) I am ridiculously jealous of her. She's in a completely foreign environment, learning about something she loves and in general having what will become an amazing experience. I just keep thinking that I could have been in the Netherlands right now, learning about international law and prison systems. My dad was OK with the idea...my mom would have taken minor convincing. However, after a sketchy year at best with my friends and family, I decided I needed to come home, relax, have fun and get a job that I hated so I'd return to school with renewed ambition. Plus, going to the Netherlands would not only involve hands on work with prisoners and such, but also hard core lectures. 2nd semester was tough people, I knew this and figured I'd need a break. Well..I've had one and I'm already ready to be back, challenging myself. Le sigh. Part of this stems from the fact that I haven't been out of the country in what...2 years? Eh.

Angst No. 2: Uncle Donny is coming to visit.

AAARRRGGGHHH. FYI: This is my dad's brother. He lives in Georgia/Florida. I haven't seen him in about a year, though I do talk to him at various times on the telephone. This man and I do not get along mostly because he's one of the most arrogant assholes ever to walk the planet. As I told Rache...he's got an I'm-right-you're-wrong-now-get-in-the-kitchen-and-make-me-a-sandwich attitude. Excuse me while I set my limbs on fire and fling myself from a cliff. He's also a pathological liar. Might be best to keep all sharp objects away from me while he's here as I may not be able to restrain myself. If you love me, all of you will call me. Often. Very often. Next Thursday-Sunday. Very often. I may need talking off of a ledge. Oh...on an even more pleasant note...I may be forced to spend next Christmas w/ him...I would attempt to run away to visit my loving, caring, supportive friends over this break...except once again..he lives in Panama City, Florida. Beach over Christmas? I can deal with that.

Angst No. 3: Lack of Riding.

Yeah, I miss the barn. A lot. I'm seriously regretting waiting until June to start riding again, mostly because I think it would have helped me maintain a lot more sanity during May. Le sigh. This will be rectified this coming Friday. Mwahaha.

Angst No. 4: My Job.

OK...so...I have a job...I can't complain...at all. Right? WRONG. These people keep postponing my training and my start date and it's really really upsetting me.

Angst No. 5: My Car.

For those of you who didn't know (I don't think I told anyone this) when I was home for Fall Break last year I got rear ended as I was turning onto Keller. Not that big of a deal, car was still drivable, but we had to get it fixed (especially since it was entirely the fault of the other driver). The insurance companies have finally stopped running around and decided whose company had to take care of it and so forth and so on, so I went to get it an appraisal today. Seems relatively innocuous, right? WRONG. They made me drive all over fucking York county to find a place that was linked to Liberty Mutual to get everything rolling then once I finally got there I had to wait forever and a day then drive my car all over their lot so they could find a place to do a quick inspection of the damage. Turns out the part they need is available somewhere in York County, but they're not sure where and they'll "call when everything's ready to go" ANGST AND RAGE. I just want to get my car fixed, preferably in the shortest amount of time possible. Looks like the absolute smallest amount of time they'll have it is two days, and I'll need a rental car and I just...GAH...

However...as always...there's always a ray of silver lining to dark clouds...

Ray of Hope No. 1:
Today there was an thunder/lightning storm. God it was beautiful. Chiron pulled out the MALLET OF INSPIRATION and I was writing like crazy earlier. Dance dance.

Ray of Hope No. 2:
Shea informed me that FINCH is playing in NJ. I think he's the only one who can truly understand how awesome this is, but trust me, it merits hardcore happy dancing.

I like studying faces in parking lots, because it doesn't remind me of anything.