Yes...you see correctly...that is a panda...and not only is he posing quite nicely for the camera, he's wearing Elizabethan attire!
So...that is one of the utterly amazing pandas that temporarily took over my school in the fall. Many a chuckle those dear, sweet creatures caused. If only we'd had more bamboo, maybe they all wouldn't have died...le sigh. Next, I fear Mickey Mouse will be making his entrance to AU...but today is not that day..on that day we FIGHT!
ANYWAYS! On to the topic...walking home from Chipotle today (oh ever so much Mexican goodness) Jessie, Adam and I decided to have a rendevous of some sorts over the summer and after much deliberation we were summoned to Rhode Island. If the days work out (and they will...I shall make it as such) I can just fly from LA straight to Providence and then get a flight back to Baltimore out of Providence when our visit is complete. But here's a little math equation I'd like to put together for y'all...now I know my math skills aren't exactly great (shut up Kat...I CAN ADD 2 AND 2!! It equals 5! (Mad props if you get that reference)).
Flight to Los Angeles: $122.
Flight to Providence from Los Angeles: $139.
Flight from Providence to Baltimore: $127.
Setting off every security detector and generally causing much so much pain to the TSA that they all want to kill themselves: utterly priceless.
So let's recap a bit...picture it...LAX, August 2004. After a visit with my best friend, I'm about to head home. Remember, I was suffering from MSG poisoning at this point (damn you chinese food) and it was ridiculously hot. Due to piss poor traffic, I was already running behind schedule. I'm forced to stand in line to get my e-ticket and then check my bags...the man looks up from his computer screen, stares at me suspiciously and points towards a door saying "you need to go to that room over there.." Frustrated from toting a heavy suitcase as well as a carry one and a purse, I grumble angrily and stalk towards the room, only to find it ridiculously filled with every minority group you could possibly image. All of them looking agitated though resigned as though this was part of their every day tranvel experience. Y'all know what I look like. I'm about as far from a minority as you can get. I stick out like a sore thumb. So while I'm waiting, I pick up conversation with some guy who's heading to Germany. He basically said that it occured to him every time he travelled and there was absolutely no reason why I should be forced to wait. I must have been their random selection for the day. Joy and happiness for me. OK, I can deal. I didn't miss my flight (though it was a close call) and I figured "eh..whatever..it was a one time occurance." Then, while dozing on the flight...I suddenly remember flying to Puerto Rico where they did everything but strip search me while leaving my parents unscathed. I'm pretty sure the only reason they didn't strip search me was the nasty, evil looks my mom and dad kept giving them...
So just for all you slow students...every time I've flown anywhere since 9/11 I've done absolutely nothing out of the ordinary and yet still gotten smacked by the TSA, while my mother happily trotted onto the plane with mace, lighters and a nail file (all contraband now). So what I want to do now is draw on all of your memories (at least the York Catholicers).
Remember the speeches that we had to do? The ones that I always picked the most obscure topics on and did a lot of research for? Yeah...well..my topics inclued Communism/Socialism, genocide/war crimes and the different methods of torture used throughout hisotry. Well, a lot of that research was done at universities and public libraries. And you know that wonderful little provision in the PATRIOT Act? The one that allows the government to screen library books you've rented? Well...there ya go...problem solved. I get harassed at airports because I was flagged for books I took out of the library for research purposes(damn you Manifesto of Karl Marx! I KNEW you were going to cause me pain!).
So...let's add it all up... I've already been black flagged...combined with 3 one way flights (two of which are cross continental) not to mention the fact that since last August I've called/emailed Rick Santorum and Arlen Spector (Republican Senators from Pennsylvania) a LOT and ranted a LOT. Oh..and you know those lovely telephone conversation archives the CIA keeps that are triggered by key words. You know- terrorist..plastique..I Loathe Bush..yeah..my voice rings on those a lot). My viewpoints and beliefs are well documented. I'm going to be LIVING at those airports.
And you know what...at one point this would have bothered me..I would have said that what they're doing is ridiculous to the extreme, unjust, unfair and even an infringement on my rights to freedom of speech. No longer. I now laugh. Welcome to the Real World, Miss MacVeigh. Please strip down so we can search you for explosives. If a long ass wait at the airport as well as mild humiliation is the price to pay for stating my viewpoints and beliefs (loudly..I might add) then by all means...let's go.
2 comments:
Freedom comes at a cost. Not that airport security has gotten any better or anything. Native is a minority you doofus. I remember when you were socialist. And then you were conservative. Then one day, you became a super liberal, and it was like legally blonde - "so do you think she just woke up one day and decided, 'I think I'll go to law school!'?"
*Ash standing w/ 5 of your typical central Pennsylvania conservative college kids over Thanksgiving break*
"I want to go to the inauguration ball."
*5 mouths drop*
"You do realize... that you're the only one standing here who voted for KERRY??" (despite that Bush isn't a wonderful public speaker or in general always very bright)
'Sometimes its more fun when 2+2 doesn't equal 4' -Mrs Merritt in the yearbook
oh yeah... and apparently I'm a threat to airport security too... for as few times as I fly, I get stopped every trip... they can't just say "Oh she was stupid and forgot to take off her belt covered in a ton of metal, let's scan that through the X-ray dector and have her walk through again, let's hold up the line a minute"
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