Polonius to Laertes (Go ahead...try and figure out what song I'm talking about here!)

For some odd reason...there's a lot of things that I'm missing right now...not all of them are related to school or to DC...hell, some are just from a few weeks ago. But I find myself in a very different state of mind now...so here goes...Things that I Miss...in no particular order...

1) Music. A good bit of my favourite music was stolen from friends and just burned on to my hard drive...a hard drive that is now packed up, not to return until this computer crashes. Every time I turn on 105.7 and they're playing "Happy" by Mudvayne, my soul dies a little bit as a I scream out in pain (literally). Seriously. It makes be bleed from the fucking ears. It's not a good song. It's not a good band. STOP PRETENDING. YOU'RE NOT COOL. You're not even angsty in the good way, the way that makes you seem like deep individuals, you're angsty in the even-people-who-love-you-would-shoot-you-in-the-head-if-they-have-to-listen-to-your-whining-anymore. You know what!?!?! YES! I AM HAPPY WHEN YOU'RE IN PAIN! YOU DESERVE IT!!! STAIND is better than you. Do you realize exactly what that means?! IT MEANS YOU SUCK. Do you know what I want right now? Louis Armstrong, Billy Joel, Sting, Rob Thomas, MORE Better Than Ezra ("Deluxe" is just not enough). Hell, I'm even craving AEROSMITH for the love of all that is good and decent.

2) Reading. Yes, I've been reading a lot lately, but mostly it's been skimming old favourites. At the beginning of the summer I was on a hellish crusade to read as many books as I could. I finished 3 in about 2 weeks (The Virgin Suicides, Wicked: The Life and Times of the Wicked Witch of the West and The Curious Incident of the Dog in the Night Time). Now, I have no such desire. I'll pick up Harry Potter and reada few chapters, maybe a little bit of Oscar Wilde when I'm feeling intellectual.

3) DVDs. I want to watch movies. Lots of movies. All the time. Not even necessarily new movies, I want to watch old favourites. Dodgeball, Fight Club, Wag the Dog, As Good As It Gets. Yet in my house we only have 2 DVD players...one in the sitting room (that's right, I actually have one of those) and one in the basement. The only one I can use any time I want basically is the one in the sitting room...and it's broken...the basement is only available during the day (when Dad's not home...) and guess what...karma, cruel mistress and bitch that she is...HAS ME WORKING DURING THE DAY. I also have the worst desire to have a Quentin Tarantino fest...rejoice, rejoice in the violence.

4) Exhaustion. I really really miss being so exhausted at night that I collapse in to bed, dead to the world as soon as my head hits the pillow. I don't remember the last time that happened to me. Usually I just stare at the ceiling for an hour or so before my body gives way to the boredom of sleep. It doesn't matter what I do...I could go horse back riding, work a 6 hour shift and then go kayaking for the love of god...still I will have to force myself to sleep. I associate exhaustion with a vigorous life and it really worries me that I haven't had that in so long. I don't want my life to ebb away slowly...I don't want boredom to be the predominant emotion of my life...Hopefully I'll get the camp counselor job and that will change...we shall see...we shall see...

I guess part of all my issues right now is that my mind and body is idle most of the time...sure I have a job, but I'm still home a good bit. So I'm taking up some projects to avoid that...mastering the manual transmission for one...writing the novel (make no mistake about it...this will be an insanely long project)...now I think I'm going to take another stab at reading the classics...