Today was the worst day I've had in a very very long time. I woke up this morning, strangely aware (for the first time) of a bubble of apathy that's been in place in regards to a specific person for about 10 years...and I'm ending today in tears as that bubble is gone, hopefully forever. But for the first time, I know what I need to do. True, I don't want to do it. I want to walk away from the whole situation with a huge "FUCK YOU." I wish I could say it's just not worth the effort. But it is. God I wish it wasn't. But I know this needs to be done. True, I could just let everything be, return to the status quo. Do I want to do that? YES. Can I do that? Probably. Will I do that? NO. Sadly, no, I will not. I will fix this. I will get a grip on myself and I will be a better, stronger person for doing this.
But, god help me, I just want to walk away.
Good bye feigned apathy. Good bye wonderful, colourful little boxes in which I hid my pain. Hello road to emotional stability.
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~offers a hug~ I'll be there on the bad days, with my lighter. We shall dance through the flames. In the meantime, I offer you my tiny bit of emotional stability to lean on.
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