Georgetown is far sketchier than Chinatown...

...and the sad part is...it's actually entirely true...

Last night Kat and I went to see Corpse Bride (excellent movie, I really do recommend it though I will warn you, it's creepy as all hell...even by Tim Burton's standards). So...it was an entirely innocent night...no alcohol, cocaine or acid was consumed, yet it still ended up being entirely amusing...

Let's just say that I forgot how ridiculous Georgetown can get late at night on a Friday...in cronological order...let's rehash the night, shall we?

-A very drunk, semi balding man approached Kat and I as we stood underneath a street light on Wisconsin...he proceeded to ask us if we wanted to get a cab with him...approximately 8 times...finally Kat snapped and said "Well, you can't get a cab here, but if you just walk up to the next block...I'm sure you can get one there" the man *giggled* and remained rooted in place...so Kat hailed a cab for him. After a few seconds of asking us if we wanted to ride home with him, he was finally away...thank you god.

-An entire cab full of moderately attractive guys pulled up to us, beginning the conversation with "Well heeeeeeellllllllllloooooooooo" to which Kat responded (very tactfully) "You're wasted." The leader of the posse proceeded to declare, rather fervently I might add, "No way! I'm sotally tober!!!!" Then, screamed, almost simultaneously at Kat and I was..."You're really fot!" and "I like your dress!!!"

At this point..Ash and Kat declare it to be faster to walk to Foggy Bottom/GWU and catch the metro....here is where the real fun begins...

On M Street, across the street from Georgetown Park Mall...Kat and Ash were assaulted by yet another cab full of really intoxicated men. These men were neither attractive nor witty and asked repeatedly if a) we'd like to go home with them and b) what was under Kat's skirt.

Enter FEAR, stage left.

Ash and Kat dart across M Street and begin walking the other direction, towards GWU. Appx 5 minutes later, Ash and Kat encounter 2 rather good looking, very mildly intoxicated guys, aged appx 21. One declares, in a loud voice while staring directly at Ash "Wow, you're really hot! Come home with me right now!" Ash proceeds to walk calmly in the other direction while aforementioned guy yells over his shoulder "Come home with me so I can rape you!!!"

Now comes the piece de resistance of the evening. Ash and Kat are walking rather quickly down M Street towards GWU when suddenly the pass a shortish, foreign looking man aged appx. 30 WHO BEGINS TO FOLLOW THEM!!! Ash and Kat fear for their lives before asking, in very exasperated tones, if they can help the man find whatever he's looking for. I think the next part of this conversation can only be done in dialogue...

Ash: Uh...can I help you?
Turkish Guy: I think you can...
Ash: Uh...what are you looking for?
Turkish Guy: I'm looking for love! *Proceeds to wrap an arm around Ash's shoulders*
Ash: Well, I certainly can't help you with that! But maybe if you look down there *points down Thomas Jefferson Ave* you'll find it!
Turkish Guy: Why are you lying to me?!?
Ash: Why are you touching me?!?!

Somehow...no one died that night...and no one was raped...but I think the best way to sum up the evening was with a quote of Adam's this morning at breakfast, when he learned some of our escapades...

*Cocks head with a mildly pained look in eyes* Wow...I'm really glad I'm not a woman...