I can't go into details, or I'd have to kill you...

Recently I was privy to a photocopied letter from a prisoner in a state correctional facility. Let me just state, straight off the bat, that my reading this letter was not illegal in any way, shape or form. It was subject to no attorney/client confidentiality penalties as it was addressed to an entire Public Defender's Office and was actually asking for something completely outside of their realm of power. So anyways, moving on...

Aforementioned prisoner (hereby known as the Commie Bastard) was sentenced 29-54 years for rape, rape of a minor and possession of pornographic and obscene materials. All thinking people right now are saying "DAMN STRAIGHT! The Commie bastard gets no food!"

Let me just go ahead and put this out there. Being a Justice major, I spend a lot of time studying a lot of very sick, perverse things, including the American prison system. As such, I've developed beliefs that typically frown upon excessively long sentences as they are both ineffective and incredibly expensive. This does not apply to child molestors. I think they all deserve to, for lack of a better term, fucking fry. However, it is not just this man's status as a child molestor that leads me to say he's getting what he deserves, it partially stems from a letter he wrote to the Office of the Public Defender.

I'm not going to reiterate the entire letter verbatum. It's both long and so grammatically incorrect that it makes my head hurt. However, the general jist of the letter was fairly straight simple.

The Commie Bastard wrote to the Public Defenders stating that his trial and sentence was a direct violation of his Second Amendment Rights. And by Second Amendment Rights what I mean is the "right to worship and practise god in Any manner." He goes on to say that God stands outside the judicial system because he created the courts. As such, Commie Bastard refuses to accept man's law because god's law overrides it and trying to make him serve a sentence by something he doesn't accept makes his trial and sentence a violation of his rights and therefore null and void. He asks for a new trial, this one conducted by the "Church of my Lord and Savior."

After reading the letter, in all honesty, I stared blankly at it. Two seconds later, I jumped to my copy of the Constitution just to make sure that I hadn't confused the Amendments. As I'd known all along, the Second Amendment is, in fact, the right to bear arms and form militia. For the inquisitive minds out there, it's the First Amendment that garauntees one's right to freedom of religious expression.

I'm rather scared.

The lesson deemed from all this, children? Well, if you're going to try to appeal your case based on the Bill of Rights, make damn certain you pick the right Amendment to mention four or five times. Also, I highly recommend sending your letter of appeal to someone who a) won't laugh at you (PD's are notorious for this) and b) can actually do something about it, like an APPEALS JUDGE.

Also, the letter has been taped up above my bed if you're interested in reading it.

Europe plans are coming together quite nicely. It looks like we'll be flying into and out of either Ireland or England. We all know Ash's history with planes and the TSA thinking she's a terrorist. If we end up flying into Ireland, I know exactly what's going to happen. All the TSA is going to see is someone with what could possibly be an Irish last name who's return ticket isn't for nearly 2 months. You can be damn certain the first thought through their small minds will be "OMG! Irish terrorist! IRA! Sein Fein! ARGH!"

The conversation will go like so
TSA: Uh..Ms. MacVeigh...can you please step aside we have some questions for you
Ash (to Kat): TOLD YOU! I TOLD YOU THIS WOULD HAPPEN! *gets dragged off*
TSA: Now Ms. MacVeigh...you're clearly of Irish descent, what is your purpose in Ireland? Maybe a trip to Belfast to visit some "family"? You know, your Uncle Timothy still has some family here.
Ash: I'm SCOTTISH! I know it looks Irish, but I swear there's not a drop of Irish in me! Ask any Scotsman and they'll tell you! Ask my friends! I can barely hold my liquor, I hate dark beer and I love vodka! I got so drunk once off like 6 shots that I asked a tall person how they could possibly be Asian! Please let me go! I swear, I'm just here to backpack around Europe like any normal college student!
TSA: Have you taken part in any protest rallies within the past year?
Ash: As an outside observer!
TSA: *nods* OK, Ms MacVeigh, we have to verify some information before we can let you proceed. Get comfortable.
Ash: *wails*
Kat: *laughs*

Also, I have found the most comfortable and unflattering pants ever. Light coloured and approximately two sizes too big, I'd have to gain about 15 pounds to wear them without a belt. They have gaping holes in the knees and the bottoms around the heels are so ragged that they extend about 4" off to the side and occasionally people step on them and tear them further. That said, the other day while walking to work, I got hit on horribly. Let me reiterate. MOST UNFLATTERING PANTS EVER. And I was wearing an oversized sweatshirt that hides any and all attributes and, in typical manner, I went to work looking like I'd rolled out of bed and neglected to remove the rat's nest from my hair.

Seriously, guys, if you're so desperate that you'd hit on me when I look that bad, go find yourselves a hooker.